Tuesday, April 30, 2013

The Simple Life

We were honored this week to be invited to an Amish wedding.  My husband's parents, Tommy and Mitzi, met them for the first several years ago when looking for a Belgian horse to purchase.  Marlon and Josephine  and their children (Delores, Rosie, Olen, Karen, Amanda, Willis, and Matthew) have become almost an extension of our family.  When Tommy died four years ago in October, our Amish family traveled all the way from Indiana to serve as pall bearers beside our English (that's what they call us) family.  Over the last four years, I have been truly blessed to know and learn more about this quiet group of people that seem to know how to live life focused on what's most important-- their faith.

I posted on Facebook that we were excited to attend this wedding and was amazed at how many people seem to be curious about Amish life.  I will share with you about the wedding, but I will preface this with the reminder that each Amish community has their own traditions and customs.  You may have heard of different things that happen or ways things are prepared but I can only speak to what I myself know as true.  I will also tell you that I asked permission of Marlon to take pictures.  He granted me permission to take pictures of the reception area but asked me not to include any people.  Out of respect you won't see any pictures of our kind friends-- not even from a distance.  However, I can tell you they were beautiful in the most simple way.

Weddings in this Amish community in Indiana begin as soon as weather allows in March and run every Friday through June.  Weddings are an all day affair!  We "English" run around for a whole day getting ready for a 15 minute ceremony and a 2 hour reception which might serve 200 people some simple hors d'oeuvres.

Weddings are held at the family home of the bride.  Just like ours, the bride's family is responsible for all the parts of the wedding.  There isn't any rehearsal dinner the night before.  However, we arrived the night before to an all ready tired family. A tent had been erected with makeshift bench seating-- enough to seat almost 600 people!  The detached shop or garage type area had been turned into a beautiful reception area. They had a large cooking trailer with four ovens, dishes, serving trays, tables, and such.  They also had a large cooling trailer for all the prepared food.  They even had to bring in portable restrooms and a small barn for hats and coats.

The custom of the Amish is to wait until the young couple officially publishes their intent to wed and a wedding date at church before any plans can begin.  Delores and her groom published sometime in late September... a mere 7 months ago for planning.

The actual wedding service began at 9:00 am on Friday morning.  Horse and buggies were everywhere!  As we entered the tent, the men sat to one side and the ladies to another.  The children sat with either parent and there were lots of children. (Still trying to figure out their secret to such quiet children!)  In the center of the tent were a few rows of actual chairs.  Ten chairs were for the ministers of the community lined up against one side of the tent.  Six chairs were in the middle with chairs on both sides for parents, grandparents, and special guests (us).  Men and women were still separated, although they did encourage our family to sit together.  The bride and groom are accompanied in the ceremony with two other couples that are referred to as witnesses.

Most everyone wore simple black and white.  There were no flowers, no decorations, no bridal march, no make up, and no worrying about who sits next to who.

The service began with singing (men only) by the father of the bride (Marlon). All of the songs were praise songs. All of the songs were in complete German. Well this community's dialect of German. None of which I understood. (We have often enjoyed joining them in English singing these songs after family dinners when we visit, so yes women do sing.  Sometimes they use mouth harps (harmonicas) but no other instruments are ever used.)  I can tell you that listening to the harmony of about 300 men singing praise to God will bring anyone near tears.  What a blessing!

After the first song, the ministers (all 10) filed out and took the bridal party with them.  The men continued to sing several songs (about 30-45 minutes worth) while the ministers met with the bridal party.  The ministers returned in to the tent and the bridal party filed in and sat down facing opposite from their partner.  Three ministers actually spoke (all in German minus a few English words here and there) during the service.  The service was a reminder that God is the most important part of a marriage and how marriage should be.  One minister was the bride's uncle and the other was her grandfather.  Her grandfather actually married them.  The service was a good 2 1/2 hours long.  I did miss the actual ceremony because Ethan just could not sit that long quietly.  However, I was told the bride and groom were asked the questions and they responded yes to all three. No wedding rings. At the very end one of the witness couples were published in front of the church and announced their wedding date in May.

Afterwards, all of the guests were invited to eat at the first meal (lunch). They actually served three meals that day with around 1000 people served. Wow!  We were seated at long tables with benches.  Here is a picture or two of the reception room:
 Blue was the chosen color of the bride.  So all of these are beautiful blue glass candy dishes and cake stands.
 There were 40 young people chosen as servers for the meals.  Each served by passing food family style from one end of the tables to the other from these carts.  Notice the wooden wall plaques in the first picture. Those were the gifts that each server received as tokens of appreciation.  Beautiful carved and hand painted and also included printed mugs for the wedding.
This is the table for the bridal party.  Yes they have a wedding cake and they did receive gifts.

The meal was marinated and grilled turkey breast, corn, creamy potatoes, noodles, fresh bread, and broccoli salad.  I can tell you that I felt like a complete glutton it was that good.  They prepared 500 pounds of meat just for that day!   Then came dessert.  The wedding cake was not actually cut until later when Josephine (mother of the bride) decided it needed eaten instead of just looked at! LOL.  Many ladies in the community however brought cakes -- Red Velvet, German Chocolate, Carrot cake, you name it...  and they had been sliced and placed on all the cake stands.  Which we had to stare at while we ate all the other fantastic food! It's a real incentive not too overeat before dessert.  Plus the family baked about 60 pecan pies and 60 pudding pies!

The other two meals served at 4:00 and 6:30 were mainly for the young people.  We wanted to be there and were invited but our family was a little sick that night. Thank you Ethan for sharing your virus with the whole family :(

The bride and groom did not go on a honeymoon although some do.  They did spend the night in the bride's family home which is very common.  They will live for awhile in  a portion of the shop area turned living quarters until their home is finished around the end of summer.

I feel like I have written 10 pages!  The wedding was wonderful and really such a special memory for all of us.  If you have questions please feel free to ask.

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